Ye Of Little Faith
by Naiya vi Britainia
Summary: If God cared, my parents wouldn't be fighting. If God cared, Darcy wouldn't have been raped. If God cared, I wouldn't be sitting here contemplating the unthinkable act I was about to commit.OneShot Clarecentric. READ and REVIEW.


**Ye Of Little Faith**

**A Clare Song Fic**

**Song: Supernatural by Flyleaf**

**disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or it's characters. I only own this storyline which I'm pretty proud of lol.**

I sat in the dark as my ipod played an array of music at full blast. My parents weren't home, so I was alone. Again.

I had already thought it through, time and time again. There was no turning back now. An all too familiar song played from the speakers,

_Her headaches, constant, increasing in pain, with each passing day._

_She can't even manage, to stand on her own, it's gotten so bad._

_Now you think of saying there's no use in praying, but still,_

_She bows her head, so she can say, "Thank you for just one more day."_

This used to be one of her favorite songs. It sang of misfortune and sorrow, yet people still depended on God to save them.

Idiots.

If God cared, my parents wouldn't be fighting. If God cared, Darcy wouldn't have been raped. If God cared, I wouldn't be sitting here contemplating the unthinkable act I was about to commit. A glimmer of moonlight shined through my window and reflected off the small blade in my hand.

_Supernatural patience, graces her face and her voice never raises,_

_All because, of a love, Never let go of, never let go of_

I guess you would have to have supernatural patience to survive in a world like this. With all the hate and sin, it's no wonder that even I, "Saint Claire", have been tainted. My thoughts went to my sister, Darcy, in Kenya. She too, had once seen the hopelessness of this place and tried to take herself from it. But even though she saw the truth, she deluded herself back into the black hole that is fragile, fake happiness.

_He has every reason to throw up his fists in the face of his God_

_Who let his mother die. Through all the prayers and tears, she_

_still passed in pain anyway._

I wonder how much it would hurt, bleeding out. I'm sure I could've stolen some medicine and simply overdosed, but I think that this will hit my parents closer to home. I had already written a note explaining all I had seen and heard and kept bottled in. I told Alli I was sorry that I wouldn't be there for prom or her wedding or any of the things that Alli deemed important and memorable. I wrote to Adam that he had become a great friend tduring the little time I knew him and that his presence made me tread in the bottomless water of sorow for just a little longer. But of course, there was one person I couldn't bear to say goodbye to. I'm sure without him, I would have been lost a long, long time ago. All I could say was sorry, and that I truly loved him, even when we fought, even when I couldn't stand to be near him. The only reason I might consider continuing to live would be for him He was the only one who hadn't disappointed me.

_Now you think of saying, there's no use in praying. Still,_

_he bows his head, so he can say, _

_"Thank you, for ending her pain."_

I took the tip of the blade and put it at the very beginning of the underside of my forearm. I tightly closed my eye and began my self-mutiliation. I smile as the feeling of pain took over my body. I doubled over and fell into the floor, getting my blood everywhere. I slowly felt the blackness creeping over my mind, the pain slowly numbing.

_Supernatural patience, graces her face and her voice never raises,_

_All because, of a love, Never let go of, never let go of!_

"Clare!" I barely noticed the voice and I continued to smile. It was too late for me to be saved.

"Oh God, no Clare!" That's when I noticed that it was Eli's voice. I didn't really want him to see me like this. I opened my eyes for what seemed like the last time and saw him on the phone calling 911. He saw my open eyes.

"Why the hell would you do this Clare? You can't die! NO!" My smile widened even though I was sad to see him in pain.

"Goodbye Eli. I am forever yours. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough."

And i closed my eyes for the last time listening to the music fades away softly...

_He is teaching, me. What love really, means._

**Done! I hoped you like it, I was going for a super morbid kind of feel. This is my first one-shot :) Btw, I do not mean to offend anyone with the comments about God. I am a strong Christian and do not believe any of those things, but I can empathize with my Clare because I know what it's like to be unsure of our faith. Review! :)**

**Thanks!**

**Naiya Vi Britainia**


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